A Walk in My Shoes: First Generation College Students Dr. Amanda Morales, Assistant Professor in Curriculum and Instruction and Diversity Coordinator, Kansas State University College of Education: Being a first generation student is the most exciting and liberating yet scary experience a young person probably will have. Dr. Dina Bennett, Assistant Director, Kansas State University McNair Scholars Program: Well, I think we always want to know what's gonna happen you know, what's ahead of us, what are we getting into, and when we don't know that we become uncertain. I think that that immediately gives them some fear about the unknown. Dr. Steven Dandaneau, Vice Provost for Undergraduate Studies, Kansas State University: First-generation students often don't have that parental support. If they're maybe a little bit based on just fear and and not knowing, people just don't know what role they should play, how much support they should offer, how involved should they be. They're not aware. That was my own experience. My family didn't know what to do to help me. They wanted to but, they just weren't prepared to. Dr. Pat Bosco, Vice President for Student Life and Dean of Students, Kansas State University: Number one concern for parents, cost of going to school. It trumps everything, it trumps where a student's gonna live, or they get their books on time, or they have food on the table, whether they'll be able to continue next semester or not. Dr. Kirk Schulz, President, Kansas State University: I think there's a myth out there that's, I'm not sure I was smart enough to go to school. And I'm sure my son or daughter or a grandson or granddaughter is smart enough and I'll say you know what, I have yet to encounter a student that wasn't smart enough to be successful. The difference is motivation levels, what they want to do, are they ready for college? And I believe that work ethic, and the ability to get in there, good time management skills, or output, are far more important than overt intelligence. If you really want it and you're gonna work hard, you'll be successful. Helene Nguyen: Growing up I went to school with a lot of Hispanic students, Chinese, Vietnamese, but hardly any white students. We were aware that we were different races, but it was never a problem. So, it was a good atmosphere to learn English because everyone was learning English so we all kind of learned as a community. Education-wise it might not have been the best school or the best books or the best teachers, but I believe it was a really good atmosphere. I was one of the only kids who knew fluent Vietnamese and fluent English. Most kids either learn English and forgotten the nice or didn't know English well enough. So, at school they would call me out of class to go translate so I thought it was tons of fun because I'd be getting called out of class three or four times a week to translate. And, it was a chance for me to learn different terms in both English and Vietnamese that I didn't know before. We didn't really have toys and stuff so all all the kids would play on the jungle gyms for hours after school. You would see kids playing in the streets all the time playing with sticks, just whatever we could find. I didn't feel like I was poor. We were a really big community so everyone was friends. Most of our parents were either working multiple jobs or working throughout the night. Even though my parents didn't get a high school degree or any education in Vietnam, my mom was really good with numbers so she would sit me down whenever she had free time to come home and go through my math work with me, which was great. My parents did own a store that they ran full-time, they would sleep there, even they had beds there so basically my brothers raised me. Qvuc Ho Nguyen, Helene's brother: We helped out some she was a hard-working girl, she did a lot of the stuff herself you know. She also helped out a lot with her younger brother about getting him to go to college. Helene Nguyen: That was our everyday life, they would just educate me and everything. It was definitely a change going from the rowdy crazy streets of Los Angeles to quiet suburbia in Johnson County. There weren't many minorities in Johnson County so I definitely felt that difference. Everyone looked at me weird or I would hear them say things at school because I was one of the few Asian students there. I always thought my culture was something good about me, so when I finally came here I felt like people couldn't see past me being Asian or my culture to see who I was. It's something my mom always tells me about education is, this is an opportunity that they never had and she just wants me to get as much out of it as possible. Son Thi Vo, Helene's mother, speaking in Vietnamese: [text on screen} What I really wanted for Helene, when we got to Kansas, as for her to pursue her education. I was so happy I cried the first year she was gone. Her older brothers tried to go to school, but because of the circumstances of our family they weren't able to. It saddened me, but I was happy that Helene could get an education. Helene Nguyen: I really didn't expect to go to college. I just expected to start working at the nail salon part-time, eventually, get my nail license, yeah, start working with my family, and all that. But, they were like, no, we want you to have a better life. We don't want you touching people's feet for a living. We want you to get an education and get further than we have, so that your children get further than you have. I do feel like I'm a bridge because my younger brother, he never thought he was gonna go to college. He always thought he was just gonna pick up some minimum-wage job and just work up to be a manager or something, and I was determined to make him go to college. He finally has realized that education is fun. So, I'm finally glad to see him enjoy education because education is something you should enjoy. And, then my mom just a few years ago, when I told her I was gonna be an English teacher in ESL, she thought that was amazing. She, she really was inspired, I guess, and so she started taking my classes to learn English. She can actually hold a conversation which is nice now. The worst hurdle for me, which is probably not as bad a hurdle has any of the others, is I could not take being away from my family. I was so homesick. It was like, so empty without having my family there because we've all lived together, all my brothers, and I, and my mom since I was 11. I drove home every weekend almost. I was used to being babied by my brothers. I mean, I did my paperwork by myself and all that, but I didn't have them there to support me, which was really scary. I would just stay up at night and think, did I make the right choice? Should I call them and ask them if I should take this class or not? And, they, they just thought it was ridiculous that I was I couldn't make these choices by myself yet. It wasn't until the advisors at the college of education helped me and I finally thought, oh I really can do anything I want. That's when I started taking more liberties and freedom with my classes and my education. As a kid I had so many people who weren't ESL tell me I wouldn't succeed, or I wouldn't learn English. I was already reading Harry Potter in second grade and I loved it, but everyone thought since I was an ESL student and I was in these lower classes that I couldn't get into the advanced English classes. My family had to step in and say no, she should be taken off ESL finally. And, that's when they tested me to have them realize that I had potential. So I thought that as an ESL major I can make this change in students and if they weren't determined to learn I would make them determined to learn because it's not an opportunity they should miss. Lisa Meade: My name is Lisa Meade. I am from Effingham, Kansas and I am a first generation college student. When I first started elementary school I lived near Nortonville, Kansas and between Nortonville and Cummings and then when I got out of high school, I now live in Effingham, Kansas which is like ten minutes from where I used to live. One of the things I used to really want to do was be an archaeologist. I don't like bugs, I don't really like dirt, I don't like working in the heat, and I was like that's probably not a good idea. But, I had always loved history and so I was like, well, what profession could I do something that has to do with history. As I got older and into high school I started babysitting and I found out I love working with kids. I would love to be able to teach kids about history and I want to see if I can make them realize that history is a fun topic. All my favorite teachers were history teachers. My sophomore year and my senior year I had the same teacher, her name was Miss Hanson, and she was great. She was very dedicated to her work, she would be there to help you, and she was a teacher who, if I was having a bad day, she would let me talk to her. She could tell when something was wrong. I want to be that person where if you need to talk about something, it's just, you're having the worst day of your life and you don't think it's ever gonna get better and you just need to vent. I want to be that teacher where my door's open. I want you to be able to come in and feel comfortable talking to me. The kids that, quote-unquote, nobody wants are the kids that I have this soft spot for. Betty Engle, Lisa's great aunt: Ever since she was small she was always for the underdog. She's always wanted to help everybody and I think that will help her, I do. Lisa Mead: The kids that have the more troubled past, the troubled backgrounds especially, if it's a family problem because of the stuff that I've been through in my life. I understand where they're coming from a little bit and so I know that to them it's a big deal having somebody to accept you. Having a place where you feel okay and accepted is one of the greatest things you can possibly give somebody. IN one word, I feel like my childhood is just kind of tragic. At the very beginning especially. I moved around a lot after my mom passed away. Betty Engle: Her mother was killed and that was when she was four. So of course, I was the one that had to go pick her up from the daycare after we got word of her mother's accident and bring her back to my house. Something she was with me for about almost another month before her dad moved her out there and took her out on her own. Lisa Mead: But my father was not a very good person or a very good parent. When I was eight a lot of stuff happened and I almost drowned. My dad decided well fine, we're gonna put you up for adoption and so he gave my maternal grandmother first chance and if she would have said no I would have just been sent to the Oregon foster care system and so my grandma adopted me legally when I was eight and it kind of feels like a lonely childhood. I think for me it was better, there was a lot less physical abuse but it was still really hard emotionally because she wasn't outrightly loving, and so I just got to the point where I would come home from school and I would stay in my room all day. Well, I didn't really have a lot of help getting into college. The family that I babysat for my sophomore year all the way up to the summer after my freshman year of college. They helped me with, like, how to find the applications to the schools and apply. Joel McNerny, family friend: And I was asking her if she had done any scholarships or if she had applied to college yet, and she didn't really know how to go about doing that. Lisa Mead: When I got in I was I was so excited and I like ran to tell everybody. Joel McNerny: She was very excited and thrilled and bouncing all over the place. Lisa Mead: It wasn't only I got into my dream school but it was, I can leave here and go somewhere else and do what I want to do, and be myself. And so, it was a great, overall it was just it was a really great day when I got that letter. My mom was going to be a teacher before she had to drop out. Betty Engle: I think trying to do what she thought her mother wanted her to do as part of her dream. Lisa Mead: When I was younger I felt guilty, you know, why am I here and my mom's not and so part of it kind of grew out of that but it became, I want to live a life that my mom would be happy to know that's her daughter. As I was growing up, just knowing that I had somebody to talk to even if it was one teacher and it was like once every three weeks that I actually managed to get a word in with that teacher, that kept me going a lot of times just knowing that somebody cared. Kris Bailey: I was one of those kids that uh, not to toot my own horn, but I was kind of a popular kid you know. I had lots of friends, always had like a little trail of kids that were always following me around. It was always a fun childhood, always running around all over the city. Sometimes you could do that kind of stuff where you just run around the city without having to be worried about getting picked up in a car or something like that. When I was raised with my grandparents they were old you know. So when I would come home from school things like that they weren't maybe not because they weren't interested in my education but maybe they were at an age where they weren't really, they couldn't be interested you know. They had health issues they had to take care of. I had two cousins that lived with me too so when I came home from school there wasn't anybody that was monitoring me you know as far as, let me check your homework, what did he learn in school things like that. I was kind of on my own and then when I came to school it was left to the teachers and they did a pretty good job of that otherwise I wouldn't be in this position right now. So after my grandmother died I went back to live with my mom in Kansas City and Manhattan is totally different than Kansas City. It's just it's more of an urban environment. And so when I went there I was looked at as you know like a nerdy kid. They said I talked white and I was like you know, what, no way, what are you talking about. So I had to deal with that you know kids kind of messing with me a little bit about that and that was a little different. So my popularity went completely out the window. It didn't bother me to a point where it messed up my academics or anything like that, but it was definitely different. I was in eighth grade and I didn't want to be in the regular school in Kansas City, I wanted to be somewhere that would kind of test me a little bit more, pushing me and a friend said, hey go to Sumner. I was like, I don't know what that is. He said you got to take a test, you got to take a special test to get to Sumner. Is I tried the test, passed it, they accepted me, and so from ninth grade I finished and you know until I graduated I went to Sumner. We were looked at differently than other high schools in Kansas City. We did International Baccalaureate there which is a tougher academic standard than even AP. You know. When you took IB at a school, you're like, man I can I can do some stuff, you know that's like college-level type stuff. So I think definitely kids were like man, we're headed and shoulders above regulars kids in Kansas City and then other kids in Kansas City and then other kids in Kansas City looked at us like snobs and stuff like that. And then we kind of you know got together. You know it brings everybody together like a sense of community okay everybody hates us in Kansas City so let's just gather together and just you know sealed ourselves from everybody else so that's kind of how it was at Sumner. The moment it crystallized that I wanted to be a teacher was probably at the end of my senior year with Mr. Smith. You know he stayed on me and kept me on top of things about getting into college and keeping me motivated. And Mr. Smith especially really stressed just preparation you know, because they said everything that we're doing here is gonna prepare you for college, you know, you can't do it here you know, are you gonna be able to do it you know, at K-State. So I'll never forget like graduation when we were walking at the you know, the cap and gown ceremony and all the teachers were in the cap and gown. And we were just walking with everyone and all the teachers were lined up just had a look of approval on, like a look of like, okay you guys made it. And, and he just looked happy you know, he looked like you know, you did it in four years. And I was like, man, that pretty much crystallized it for me, I said yeah this is what I'm gonna go into. The pressure I feel is pretty much put on myself because I'm here, I'm a self-driven person like there's no one from the outside really saying you have to do it, it's it's all for me. I want to succeed, I want to be the first person in my family to do this and I'm so far into it, I'm so deep into it like for me to back out of it now would be a complete failure. So that's the pressure I feel is just to be the first one. When I went to college I knew that I was the first one to go so I knew I wanted to finish I knew that I had these lofty goals to meet, not just to go to college, not just to graduate. I want to get a masters, I want to get a doctorate at some point, just to set that bar in my family history. There probably isn't any stereotypes in this day and age as far as me being a black guy going to college but as far as in education I think I'm breaking a lot of stereotypes. I mean just look at my physical appearance and say okay this guy's gonna be a teacher you're like what, you know you might think she might be going into you know sports or something like that but when you look at me and say okay this guy wants to be a teacher. There's a lot of stereotypes but there's not a whole lot of guys that want to be a teacher from what I understand. There's not a whole lot of black guys that want to be teachers, so there's that stereotype I think that I'm breaking out that at some point you know, that doesn't become a stereotype. Ciera Cathey: Growing up in Lindon, it was all I knew I mean I didn't really grow up in the town I grew up out in the country by Pomona Lake. So I didn't really know anybody around where I live so I kind of just stuck to myself and I was outside a lot. I love animals. I used to catch frogs and turtles and I'd always go down to the lake and walk the shore and I was able to roam and do whatever I wanted. I guess you could say it was different than most kids have because my parents just let me run free and then I just came home when it got dark. My parents adopted me in 1996 when I was two going on three. Marilyn Cathey, Ciera's adoptive mother: The first time we met was in a Braum's ice cream store in Emporia. We kind of fell in love with her right at first so it wasn't hard to bring her home. Ciera Cathey: My parents and I are really close. Whenever I get a good grade my mom called everybody in the family and so I'd always have encouragement from them. My mom is my inspiration, she's always told me that you know don't step on anybody's feet, just work hard and do your best and think good things will come to you. When I was younger I was diagnosed with ADHD and I take medication for it, but I had a really hard time when I was a little focusing on things. Not necessarily getting in trouble on purpose but whenever I get bored I'd always find a way to get in trouble no matter what. I don't know how I did it. I had one teacher for second grade that actually was the first one to take this step and realize that I was different, and realized that I wasn't really trying to get in trouble but that I was just didn't have enough to do. So, she she gave me enough to do. She gave me so much enough to do that I remember having to stay in from recess to finish my extra work and so she made sure that I had the tools I needed to reach my potential. Band was definitely a big part of my life. Music was something that I it was my outlet, it was meant everything to me. I'd practice at home, I'd give them little like recitals so I could practice. I did notice a really big difference between small town and going to Topeka. Honestly, I didn't realize I was a different race until I was a sophomore in high school. It was a shock to me that people treated me differently because of my skin color, because you know I grew up with kids that were just like them and they were fine with me. So then, when I got to Topeka it was a lot better, it was a mix and it was diverse and I felt accepted. I don't really distinctly remember them ever saying you're going to college but I could feel it and I wanted to go to college ever since I was little. Don Cathey, Ciera's adoptive father: I think the feeling is today that you're not going to move anywhere without college. When I was growing up, you could get a trade, you could go to work straight out of high school even before you finished high school and that was an accepted norm, everybody did that. You weren't the President of the United States, but you earned a living, you supported a family, you worked 30 years, you got a watch, then you retire. Marilyn Cathey: We saw her potential early on and realized we needed to be sure she went to college no matter what. So yeah, we strived for that and it's happened. Ciera Cathey: If it hadn't been for my parents I would have never had any of the opportunities that I've had today. I'm gonna start crying. No it is they've, they've, worked really hard to get me to where I need to be and they've sacrificed a lot so that I can have a future. In my opinion to be a first-generation college student is that you come into college without knowing what to expect. If you don't have that guidance that students who have parents who went to college or siblings who went to college have, you kind of have to fend for yourself and figure things out pretty quickly. I made some poor decisions but I like to say I'm still here. Jessica Leichter: I've lived in Shawnee my whole life. Basically I had the perfect childhood, I'm not gonna lie. I lived walking distance to my elementary school, for my middle school, and my high school. I live right near Park. We have the Johnson County bubble stereotype. They call the Orange County of the Midwest for a good reason. My elementary school it was probably 99% white, very affluent upper-middle class. That's just what I've grown up in. School meant the world to me. I loved everything about school. I was that total dweeb that like loved it so much if my mom told me that the cousins are coming over I would immediately start working on a lesson plan. Kim Leichter, Jessica's mother: And every child that came into our house was required to do a little homework. Jessica Leichter: And I'd like type up things on the computer and like make worksheets and I'd pull out my white board. James Leichter, Jessica's father: She was born to be a teacher, she'll be an awesome teacher. She just has everything a person needs to be a fantastic teacher. Jessica Leichter: I can deny till I die that I didn't want to be an educator and that I loved whatever else I chose but I knew that there would be nothing else that satisfied me the way that education would. People are really surprised when I tell them I'm first generation. They just assumed that my parents were college-educated and I'm just following in their footsteps, but I don't think they realize all that my parents went through to get to that spot, they weren't just given it. My mom, she didn't have the best start to education she wasn't set up to succeed, I guess you could say. Kim Leichter: I had some struggles my entire childhood. I grew up with two very dysfunctional parents, one with mental illness and one with an alcohol problem, so my background in education was difficult and almost non-existent. Jessica Leichter: She went to school hungry most days, she didn't have parents at home that would help her with homework. Kim Leichter: I call myself a functioning illiterate, not able to do basic math. I spell at probably a second-grade level. Jessica Leichter: She couldn't even form a simple note without looking at the dictionary and so she said you don't realize how tough it is to live day by day without a proper education until you don't have it. She said I dreaded filling out a birthday card or writing a note to your teacher because I felt like they would judge me because I can't spell and I can't use grammar. My dad, he got to high school and he told me that he went to see his guidance counselor. James Leichter: And she said your test score showed that you would be interested in public speaking, politics, maybe science, and I wouldn't waste my time with that, I would consider possibly a career in the military or a trade school, at a 1.7 grade point average right? So who am I to tell her, who has got all those plaques on the wall that she's wrong, so I looked at my feet and mumbled, okay, and left her room. Jessica Leichter: I mean he still remembers that today and I think that really impacted him. My mom said from the moment she got pregnant she knew I was going to college, there was no option. They had no idea what to do so it was all up to me and if I forgot to do something then it was all on me. You know I had to know when to take the ACT, I mean I was the guinea pig. My first semester was quite interesting and it seemed like everyone around me was loving school and I just wasn't. College, you're pretty much on your own and they expect you to figure out everything. And, people who have long traditions of their family going to the same school, they know it all. They know all the cool places to eat and they know all the things to do and I never felt like I had that and yeah I was sort of envious of the people that had this long history of K-Staters because they just seemed to be so comfortable here. They already knew the fight song, they already knew the cheers. I went to the first football game and looked like a complete idiot. It's the little things that you don't think will make a difference but really do. I think being a first generation student means that you're kind of like the ground-breaker for everything in your family and you're the first one to like really step out on a limb and reach for something higher than everyone else has it be easy to just say well, no one in my family went to college so I'm not gonna complete it either. I think it's a big risk when you're the first one to say, you know, I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna be the first one in my entire family to really try to achieve and do better. I love when I see my parents proud and they were definitely really happy at my high school graduation, but I think they're going to be super excited my college graduation because it's one thing to like start it. But, just knowing that like I finished it and I did it I think will give them so much joy. Martin Segovia: I was the first person in my family, out of all my brothers and sisters and my parents, to graduate from high school, let alone take the next step and go on to college. It was not just exciting but I think they were, they were just very proud of me. When I got on campus at college you know it was, it was kind of the same thing it was a little bit of a culture shock for me. I arrived on campus and there were only seven Latinos on the whole campus at the time, so you talk about sticking out like a sore thumb I definitely did, you know. And I was different because I came from a culture of eating you know papas and tortillas and things like that for breakfast and going there, it was just totally opposite. So, fortunately I had met a great buddy, still one of my best friends today, David Cuttino, who's a coach and just, he was there. He'd already spent a year there so he had already experienced a lot of it. He helped me adapt in a sense to what I was getting ready to step into. Several times. I wanted to come home and give up, you know it was, it was tough at times. I missed home, I missed my parents you know, and my family. I can recall packing at night, and my buddy David told me, you're not going anywhere, he wouldn't let me leave. You know, things like that. So it was definitely a journey, you know, well worth. Dr. Zeller was another big influence in my life and I remember being there at the university, it was about my sophomore year, you know, and it's tough. My parents didn't contribute a whole lot financially to my, my college education they didn't have to. I didn't break the record on the ACT but when I got to university I started doing well academically and athletically so I was receiving a pretty good, pretty good compensation there for books, tuition and all that for attending the university. But the day-to-day grind of just finding food, and you know and getting fuel, and all those things that was tough. I remember one time coming home checking the mail and I get a letter from Dr. Zeller about how proud he was of me and just to keep, you know pushing forward and doing the best I could. That he would he would be here for anything I needed, he would be there and he includes a check for $100 and says go have dinner on me somewhere. You know he would do those types of things for for me and I don't know why but I guess he just felt like paying it forward. He would tell me that, pay it forward. Another good example, that summer I came home for summer break and I got into a car accident. I wrecked my car and totaled my car. Well it was time to go back to school and I was waiting for my best friend David to come in and pick me up on his way from Amarillo to head to school and Dr. Zeller calls me and says, I see you got into a car wreck, so yeah, I did because I want you to go down to Western Motor and I want you to pick out a vehicle. I didn't expect anything from anyone or anything and he said, no I mean it, I want you to go down there and pick out a car, you can pay me later. So he sends me to Western Motor, he had already talked to the dealership and things and allowed me to pick out a car and he paid for it and then the very next summer I came back with the intention obviously of starting to pay him back. I spent about, oh four or five weeks going to see him. About the fifth time I go to his house, he says why do you keep coming over and giving me money, I said well, I have to, I have to, repay this debt I owe you. You know, he says well, you can stop paying me now because what you will do in your future is you will pay more kids about ten times the value of this vehicle than you ever will by paying me back, so stop paying me now. In this profession daily you're giving back, you're you're always looking for the next myself, you know I'm always looking for the next Martin and there's a lot of them out there, so I wish there were more of me to go around because I enjoy doing what we do but I keep that in the back of my mind all the time - I owe, I owe, I owe. Chuck Allen: You know a lot of a lot of kids don't realize how difficult their life is until after they become adults and can step back and see. When I left Kansas City, I went to Manhattan, Kansas. It was such a different environment. You know the people in Manhattan and K-State were mostly friendly, they spoke to me, they asked me things about my life and I wasn't, I was no longer watching my back you know, I wasn't defensive about everything that I was doing everything that I said and I didn't have to go around with a group of people with me. And so when I came back to Kansas City I didn't want to be back here. I didn't want to be back surrounded by all the bad things that were happening. As a matter of fact, I came back from K-State one Christmas break at a party here in Kansas City with some of my friends and ruckus broke out and somebody pulled out a gun and started firing. Everybody hit the floor and after I hit the floor I immediately stood back up and began shouting at all the people in that room asking, why am I back in the city, why am I here, what am I doing back in a place where death is always occurring, and it's all these fights and my friends were trying to pull me down to get down and take cover. And I was so upset at the things that were occurring in my city, my neighborhood that I didn't want to come back. You know I was I was working on my degree in graphic design and I needed a job and I had swore I'd never come back to Wyandotte County, but my stepfather worked for the county and he said I can get you a job, so he got me a job at the juvenile detention center in Wyandotte County. And when I came back I was not there for more than a couple of weeks before I knew I was supposed to be working with kids. And my heart started to change for the people when I realized that their circumstances are what put them in this position. The family dynamic, the neighborhood, the guns, the drugs, whatever it is, most of those kids in the juvenile detention center had parents who were either upstairs in the county jail or in another penal system, state penitentiary, federal penitentiary. And I knew that if we could put different people around them, if we could show them a different way, that their lives would be different. That was another thing that really changed my heart for this community. Teaching in Blue Valley, we had everything we needed. We had parents who would tell me if you if you ever need anything and they would say and I mean anything, you just let us know because they wanted their students to have whatever it took, whatever they, whatever they needed to be successful and so we had TV, phone, color printers, we had three computer labs in the middle school where I was teaching. And I decided I'm gonna go back to my old elementary school and show the teachers what I've become, because growing up in a family without a father and having people tell me what I should be doing and then telling them you're not my authority. Again, I got a lot of trouble. So I said let me go back and show the teachers. So I walk into the school and there's the small dimly lit hallways and I've ventured through the hallways to the library and see that the library is smaller than a normal sized classroom in the school where I was teaching. There were books on a cart, there was art supplies on a cart, and I realized how uneven the playing field was. I mean that, it really hit me about the difference in education and that played a key role to helping me understand that more needed to be done to help these students to understand they can achieve on a higher level but they need to have a vision of what that looks like. There was a professor from KU they found out about our ministry. She invited me to come up to KU and she had her PhD students come to this meeting and she wanted me to present what we were doing at the Urban Scholastic Center and our vision for the Urban Scholastic Center, and by that time it was all laid out. And we talked about the Entrepreneur Avenue, we talked about schools, we talked about a center whether it be libraries and arts and all these things, and the reason was because of the hopelessness that was in our community. And we wanted to raise this level of hope and help these students understand that they could achieve on a high level, that they had the ability to do this and I sat and spoke for probably 45 minutes to this group of PhD students about our goals, our dreams and I ended and as I ended my presentation they were all in silence just staring at me. And I turned to this professor and I said so which one of them is gonna do this, and she looked at me with a confused look on her face as she said, well you are. And even at that point after the Urban Scholastic Center had started for a couple of years and after the Lord had given me the vision, I still didn't feel like I was the one who was capable to achieve this and it went back to this mentality of poverty that I'm not supposed to be a PhD student, I'm not supposed to be on this level where I can organize this or develop this. I thought surely one of you really smart people are supposed to do this and I left that meeting and the Lord spoke to me so clearly and said, if you don't believe that I've called you to do this, and my power to do this through you then you might as well go somewhere and die. And it was after that point that I realized nothing can be accomplished without the power of God, because as soon as an individual determines exactly how it's gonna be done, the resources and he has all that figured out then it's all on his strength. But when God says I brought you to this point because you're willing to be used and you have to have faith, if not in yourself in my power to work through you to accomplish these things - we move forward. Angelica Villanueva: When I started school I didn't speak in English because my parents only spoke Spanish at home. My brothers and sisters were just like my students, newcomers in the class, they didn't understand the language and didn't know the whole process so it was all learning the experience. Then when I see these kids that come in I try to make it where they feel like home, where they feel like they are not gonna be judged, that they can feel comfortable talking to me because I see my brothers and sisters in them. They went through the same thing. When I was going to school, I had different issues but I always remembered that my brothers and sisters would always talk about Mrs. Salazar, which was a teacher they had in Wichita, and they said, my sister, the oldest one, Mrs. Salazar took her to her first library, showed her how to get her first book. That teacher exposed them to so much more than what they would have been exposed to without a teacher being involved. You know, just stepping in and helping out where they you know, saw the need was there. So hopefully I can be that for some of my students. With the two packing plants that we have there is a big migrant population which a lot of parents, just because the necessity that they have in their country, they come to look for work. I have kids from Honduras, El Salvador, Guatemala, Vietnam, Mexico, Costa Rica, Puerto Rico, and Cuba all in that class. For them, knowing that they have somebody, that teacher that they can speak to in their language, that looks like them, makes it a lot easier for them to start school in a new country you know. And, it's hard at times just because since it's, it's a small community. Some Latinos that do wrong things they box in everybody else, but it's like every culture, we all have our bad, we all have our good. I think it takes a person that doesn't judge one person and they're all our culture. We've always tried to better ourselves and be the example to where people don't talk bad about us. I remember teachers telling me you need to study because if you don't study and you don't do what you're supposed to, you're just gonna end up at the packing plant like the rest of you. My dad is my hero. He worked hard for us to have what we had and when I heard teachers saying that to me, it was like, so working there it means that I'm I didn't accomplish anything in life? After I graduated from high school, Miss Angelica thought, I'm gonna be like my dad, I want to work in knives in fabrication just like my dad does. And I remember the first day that I worked on knives, I cried. My hand hurts so bad that night and I remember calling my dad and asked him like, dad what do I do my hand hurt so much I can't stop crying of the pain, and he told me, he's like, I have worked there as long as I have and suffered the pain for you guys not to suffer. He's like, I don't understand why you're there but I want you to be there, that way you can make better choices. At that time I was partying a lot, going to dances and concerts and I really didn't know if I wanted to go to college. I had other things that I wanted but not realizing that there's still more once you have family, once you know different things that you at the time when you're young you don't think about. And so now I tell the kids, well they're like, oh we'll just make more at the plant, I'm like, you know what, I go it's it's a good job, it pays the bills, I said. But if you have the opportunity to make more money and to work less and not have to work physically, I said you know, if you have the opportunity, do it now. When I first started college I was single you know, I didn't have any kids or I wasn't married. And so, uh, you know, they're like you really want to go there, what do you wanna do. I'm like I don't know, I'm just gonna take my basics, I guess you know. Even if I was young and I think it changed my way of looking at life. I got married in March and I knew, I found out I was pregnant in May and so when I had my son in January I knew that you know my dad had played a big role and an example for us so I had to play a big role in an example for my son and I wanted him to be part of me. And so that really where I'm like, I gotta do this I gotta make my son proud, and that way he, you know, he can also follow. Like my dad told me, I want you to be better than me and so I'm gonna tell my son I want you to be better than me and so that chain reaction you know, what will benefit everybody and I always tell my son, you know your mommy did it, so if I can do it, anybody can do it. I think having him really really changed my life. Sometimes some people use it as an excuse like, oh I got pregnant and I, or I got married so, but if you want something and if you want to make your life better, you can do it. It doesn't matter you know, it doesn't matter what obstacles come, or what hinders your life you, you can do it. Know if I came from a very very poor family that didn't speak the language, we weren't accustomed to how everything was here, but you know as long you can set a goal and try to meet it and exceed it if possible. Helene Nguyen: The advice that I would give to a first-generation college student is just to look around. Even if you try college and you don't like it, just try it. Ciera Cathey: Don't be afraid to get out of your comfort bubble that's what good things happen. Jessica Leichter: It's not always comfortable, it's not always easy. I mean just going to college is breaking out of the comfort zone, but you can't just do it on your own. Kris Bailey: Don't be afraid to ask for any kind of help. If you're struggling like financially, you're struggling with grades, there's tons of resources, use them you know, don't be afraid to get the help that you need. Chuck Allen: They have to do more than what's expected, they have to do more than, more homework and more reading than the teachers currently give them. I mean, they have to be prepared and to do that you have to put it on yourself. They need to have a vision of where they want to be. Angelica Villanueva: You're gonna question yourself, am I good at this, but there's gonna be so many more days that you're gonna say yeah, it was worth it and those days you know, surpass with the bad days. Martin Segovia: It's not as tough as you think it is. It really isn't, it's definitely possible and you can leave home. Leaving is a big jump but if you focus on it, it's definitely possible. Chuck Allen: I would say to the professors who know they have first-generation students to intentionally reach out to them, because it's already intimidating for a student to be on a college campus with a professor who has years of experience in front of them and even when they need help sometimes we don't feel like we can approach them. I think it's important for them to know who those first-generation students are and to intentionally go to them and say if you need help, come to me. Angelica Villanueva: My advice to other teachers or professors that have first-generation students is that they need to see each student as an individual. Each student is there and each student is different, they have different needs, so I always try to think of my son when I have a student in front of me. So if we individualize and say okay, this is my son, how would I want somebody to treat my son. Martin Segovia: Befriend them in a sense but you find out what makes them tick, you know, where are you coming from? Find a little bit about, you know, their background, their culture, and maybe try to help them somehow a little more. Dr. Dina Bennett: I think it's really important that first generation college students come to the University campus and get connected through mentors, whether it be a peer mentor or a faculty mentor. They can help the student to become more comfortable with navigating their surroundings and they're just the social support. Dr. Steve Dandaneau: I got to reach out and find some people who've been through the experience because that kind of first-hand knowledge is almost impossible to acquire in any other way. Dr. Amanda Morales: Being as immersed and connected on campus as you possibly can increases your opportunities for success exponentially. The research says that if you are plugged in and well connected on campus through mentorship programs or campus jobs, that your odds of success increase significantly because you're immersed in the environment. Dr. Pat Bosco: It's critically important that we give students permission to ask for help. Dean Debbie Mercer, Kansas State University College of Education: We're dealing with a large number of students that are in the exact same place, so there's no question that's silly, there's no question that is not relevant, and there's no question that doesn't have a legitimate answer that can be found. Dr. Pat Bosco: I think we have to be there in an accessible, responsive way - that could be that faculty advisor, it could be that faculty member, it could be a religious minister, or rabbi or priest in our community. It could be an employer on-campus employer. Dean Debbie Mercer: Authentic voice is one of the most powerful teaching tools that we have and being able to support and nurture first-generation students that will go out and then support and nurture high school students, middle school students, even elementary students and plant that seed, I know you can do this and and I did and let me tell you about my walk. That makes that impact so powerful. Dr. Steve Dandaneau: The nation and the world needs these folks to be successful because they have perspective and strengths that they bring to the university experience and that they will bring to professions and to their careers and lives which are really in demand these days. We need them to bring their critical thinking for the great problems we face. We need them to persevere so they can acquire enough power to make a difference in our society where it's needed. Dr. Amanda Morales: Even though it's big and it may seem big, there is a place for them here. Everyone can find their place here, and if I can do it, anybody to do it. I truly believe that. Various voices: My name is Helene Nguyen. Lisa Mead. Kris Bailey. Jessica Leichter. Ciera Cathey. Martin Segovia. Hello my name is Chuck Allen. I'm Angelica Villanueva. I'm Amanda Morales. Dr. Dina Bennett. Dr. Steven Dandaneau. Dr. Pat Bosco. Dr. Debbie Mercer. Martin Segovia: Athletic director and associate principal at Garden City High School. Chuck Allen: I'm the founder and director of the Urban Scholastic Center. Angelica Villanueva: Physical earth science teacher here at Dodge City High School. Dr. Amanda Morales: Assistant professor and diversity coordinator for the College of Education. Dr. Dina Bennett: I'm the assistant director of the McNair Scholars Program at K-State. Dr. Steve Dandaneau: I'm the vice provost for undergraduate studies. Dr. Pat Bosco: Vice president Dean at Kansas State University. Dr. Debbie Mercer: And I serve as dean of the College of Education. Various voices: And I am a first-generation college student.